TIPS: HOW TO SURVIVE IN UNIVERSITIES/ COLLEGE LIFE ( especially ITB )

Assalamulaikum

I think aku dah bosan study. Aku tak sabar nak grad & pegang duit sendiri. Some said dunia study paling senang. Maybe. Tapi aku dah muak dah la. Serious. Aku dah tak ikhlas dah belajar semua ni. Dah la salah masuk course, racism &  double standard everywhere, aku tak nape aku belajar certain subjects like takde function and etc. Hope aku tak rendahkan semangat any students who are reading this. Go do what u love. Dont let cynical & sadist me ruin your enthusiasm. 

Now we get straight to the point. First thing first before u enter university/ college life, keep this in mind : LIFE WILL BE DIFFERENT & U'LL CHANGE. Mostly changed for good. It wont be easy, trust me. It takes every ounce of your energy, your motivation & your sweats and tears lol. ( Ke aku je yang rsa camni? Haha).

Tips2 nya adalah :-

1) Concentrate dalam kelas

 Kau maybe tak paham dalam kelas lepas tu kau pikir, "rilex la, aku pahamkan kat rumah ". NO. Sebab kau masuk je kelas lain, lecturers bagi assignments. Pastu kau masuk lab, tambah report, tambah journal. Ko masuk extra class, tambah lagi presentation. Literally , kau memang takde masa pastu kau dok tangguh n tangguh n tangguh nak pahamkan apa yang kau tak paham, sampai la exam, Time tu takde masa, baru kau sedar betapa penting nya BAGI PAHAMKAN STRAIGHT DALAM KELAS. Kalau kau x paham 100%, at least get the idea. Mcm aku serious x paham all physics stuffs dalam subject Instrument, tapi at least aku cuba paham yang benda ni nak detect impurities dalam ubat by using UV/Vis wave. 

2) Make your own notes

Yes kau ada buku teks, ada internet. Tapi yang keluar dalam exam is what your lecturers taught in class. ( Even some lecturers  diaorang memang tanya out of topic, but mostly hint dia dalam kelas ). Apa dia ajar, even takde dalam slides notes  or books, kau wajib catat even small details. Aku banyak kali survive exam sebab kebetulan aku ada catat benda2 kecik dalam kelas. Aku tak tipu, one day masa lecturer nampak ktorang dah bosan, pastu dia cakap "what is the first taste sense that will go away if u have flu? U wont taste any sweet taste". Aku tulis benda tu then before exam aku sekali imbas je ternampak notes aku. Bammm keluar soalan.  Students laen keluar dewan tanya "weyh ada ke dia ajar ??". Yes , ada, Kau memang kena tumpu . Lecturers kalau dah geram, memang diaorang test students macam ni.

3) Baik dengan seniors

Even kau menyampah mana pun dengan senior korang, diaorang ada satu ego korang kena feed. Diorang suka kalau juniors bertanya soalan. And actually murah hati kalau korang mintak NOTES, SLIDES, PAST YEAR QUESTIONS & QUIZZES. Korang mintak je tips all before pergi exam sebab prediction diorang mostly 60% akan keluar dalam exam. Jangan gaduh dengan senior, sebab let say kau dah buat hal kat sorang, kau rasa kawan2 dia yang laen nak tolong kau ke ? Nama kau dah buruk kat situ. Seriously, kalau kau baik dengan senior, kadar survival rate kau kat universiti naik 40%. 

4) Baik dengan lecturers

Ada beza buat baik and kaki kipas. Kaki kipas is student tu tak berusaha like others, tapi markah dia selalu tinggi coz selalu bodek lecturers. You guys maybe pikir , "takkan lecturers takde integrity bias sebab students baik dengan diorang ??". 

You guys lupa satu benda, LECTURERS ARE HUMAN. Diaorang maybe ingat budak2 kaki bodek ni budak baik, so lepas mengajar budak2 keras kepala & kaki tidur macam you guys, dioarang happy tau ada students yang at least tumpu dalam kelas ( that's what they taught ). 

Buat baik is, JANGAN MELAWAN. Even korang rasa lecturers tu tak adil, discriminate, taknak negotiate tarikh exam, jangan sekali-kali raise your voice and lawan. Keep this in mind, YOUR FUTURE IS IN THEIR HANDS. Imagine korang dah berkelakuan kurang hajar, and kebetulan in exam, korang tinggal satu je markah nak lulus. Dia bole je luluskan, tapi kau dah buat taik, so dia failkan kau. True story.

Buat baik means, jangan ponteng melebihi kuota, lol. Bila lecturers tau korang kaki ponteng, bila korang tak score dalam exam & u guys mintak second chance by doing assignments, jawapan tipikal diorang would be, "U could not answer during exam because u WERE NOT in the class". Jangan bagi impression kaki ponteng, ever.

Buat baik juga bermaksud, hantar assingments on time dan please  kurangkan plagiarism ( try to maintain the originality of your assignments at 60% at least ).

5) Buat baik dengan assistants.

Most lecturers ada assistants dioarang sendiri, especially lab assistants. You guys jangan pandang rendah kat akademik diorang, because most assistants are Master student, or in training to be lecturer. 

I feel bad to say this, but memang extra point if u guys cantik/ lawa or handsome. Again, assistants are human too. Dalam kelas aku ada this guys always survive because almost all assistants tangkap cintan dengan dia. Aku tak cakap guna lah kecantikan korang if nak survive, this is soooo wrong. Tapi, kalau korang dah notice some special attention to u from that particular assistant, use it. Korang boleh bertanya lebih and they might give u extra answer & tips. True story. Im sorry, tapi dunia ni memang agak lebih mudah bagi orang cantik. ( my opinion). I once read, "Being ugly in this world seems like playing a game in a hard mode". 

Tapi tak semua assistants gatal. Ada assistants yang betul2 nak guide & tolong korang. If korang jadi kawan dia, and tunjuk kan semangat nak study, memang diorang TOLONG SANGAT2. Diorang akan bagi markah tinggi dalam tests, dalam reports, dalam exam, and before exams, they might give some good tips to you guys.

So again, be good to the lecturer's assistants. 

6) Study weeks

If you guys ada past year questions from seniors or library, first thing first DO/ PRACTICE THE PAST YEAR QUESTIONS. Even korang belum habis ulangkaji all notes, seriously practice dulu past years, and cari jawapan for the questions. 70% chance soalan yang sama akan keluar lagi dalam exam in different ways. Say, in 2011 punya soalan tanya pasal method of detecting alkaloids in diagram type of question, possibly in your exam akan keluar method of detecting alkaloid in essays. 

Let say if tak sama pun, the pattern will be the same. Tak sayang ke if korang tak practice past year questions, then tiba2 keluar soalan sebijik. Maybe if korang practice, you guys can get even Á in that particular subject. Or it can give u the idea of the lecturer's pattern about the exam. I have this lecturer, in the objective/ multiple choice questions, dia suka letak dekat 'D; All the above is true'. And selalu nya 'D' is the right answer. True story, again.

Lepas practice past year, baca balik all old tests and quizzes. 10% chance the questions will be asked in exam are the same questions from the test/ quiz.

Then baru korang bole baca notes/ slides/  reports/ text books or internet. Try habiskan all before exams, and again, please ask your seniors for some tips. Trust me.

7) Sleep

Don't worry pasal mata panda or tak cukup tidur, sampai korang penat la yakin kan diri, "owh sehari kena tidur 8 jam". Bulls**t. Tidur terletak dekat no 2 terakhir in what-to-do list korang. Korban tidur itu normal. Tough sikit. ( Terakhir is tengok wayang , hehe ).

8) Duit

Korang kena pandai manage duit in college life. Mostly duit akan terbang dekat assignments, reports, ink printer ( if u have printer), kertas A4, alat tulis, alat lab2 ( e.g: gloves, masks, spatula), final year projects and MAKAN. Makan tu aku tekan kan sikit, cause please2 jangan skip makan. Kalau takde duit sangat pun, at least makan telur goreng dengan nasi. Bila all this hectic datang, korang sangat memerlukan energy. Being tired, lethargy or sick are the things u mostly want to avoid.

9) Drama

Drama itu sentiasa ada, sebab manusia lain2 perangai. Yang ni aku x bole bagi tips sangat, sebab aku try elak camne pun, aku selalu dalam drama. Aku pun tak paham. Just because aku tukar status in Whatsapp pun jadi isu, apatah lagi isu lain. Aku moody time PMS, orang bole benci aku cakap aku tak professional. Manusia susah nak dipuaskan, so all i can say is, PILIH KAWAN yang kau betul2 matching and stick with her/ him. Yang lain kau xpayah carik gaduh, just act professional dan kawan macam biasa, because it'll bring much trouble kalau korang terpaksa buat assignment dalam satu kumpulan, apatah lagi lab partner.  

Ada la satu time ni, minah dua ni gaduh besar. So sorang ni sampai la hati hantar assignment, tak letak nama dia lalu submit, thus jadi isu dekat assistants, so dia dicop pembawa masalah. So please, try to avoid all this drama. 

Kalau korang dah terlibat, please act all classy about this. Jangan jadi budak2 pergi post status kt FB, pergi marah2, pergi report kat lecturers. Dah masuk university ni, please act like a grown up. Bila dah terlibat, bawak2 bersabar, kalau x tahan sangat, luahkan kan la bestfriend korang or your mom. And if u decide to counter attack, do it in a proper way. Example, if budak tu dah pergi report kat lecturer, korang jumpa lecturer tu balik with enough evidence. Balas balik with good marks, good name and good behaviors. Nothing is better when you smile where everyone expect you not to. 

Nothing good ever comes if u throw tantrum in the class, fb or instagram. Again, YOU ARE A SCHOLAR, ACT LIKE ONE.

10) Have time for yourself

Yes CGPA itu penting. Tapi CGPA bukan segalanya, Tak berbaloi sebab exam korang tiba2 dapat sakit buah pinggang ke, sakit denggi sampai tak pergi hospital, sampai pengsan sebab terlalu penat, kena masuk IV la apa la. Tak tak. 

Ingat dulu purpose korang masuk universiti ni. Nak dapat kerja elok, nak balas budi mak abah, or maybe for some nerds out there, because u guys memang betul2 minat nak belajar. Kesihatan adalah salah satu kurniaan yang paling berharga. Sekali Allah tarik nikmat tu, sebanyak mana pun duit tak kan mampu bagi balik tubuh badan yang dulu. Penat la korang makan collagen, stem cell, virgin olive oil, supplements, tetap takkan sama macam dulu.

Lepas dah habis all kerja, spend some times on fun activities, examples : baca pinterest, 9gag, facebook or some novels for few hours before go to sleep, pergi jogging waktu petang, tengok movies dekat laptop ( time ni korang tertengok 18sx movie secara tak sengaja, because internet tak censored. Brace yourself), pergi shopping or even masak. Pergi makan tempat fancy, or watch some football match, pergi dinner kat hotel or even socialize with other students from other universities. Pergi usrah, baca yassin or dengar kuliah Nouman Ali Khan. 

Masuk la kelab2 if berminat, masuk pertandingan or sukan tahunan. 

You'll make great memories, new friends and even may develop new skills or find new talents within yourself . 

11) Have faith

Dulu aku selalu ingat, if kita work hard enough, kita akan berjaya. Tak, i was wrong. Kejayaan takes sooo much more than hard work. Aku pernah study giler2 , tapi aku kena repeat jugak paper tu. Banyak kali. Aku tak paham kenapa bila aku dah study pun, still aku tak score. sangat. Kat mana silap dia, Allah je yang tahu. Ada sekali tu malam before exam with 5 more topics to be covered, aku dapat soalan exam from that good looking guy, who asked the questions from some girls who had the exam already. Not fair right ? World is not fair, the one im living in. Bagi aku yang dah tercemar dengan persepsi negative due to all this unfairness, the no 1 tip is U MUST KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE. 

Honestly, aku dah buat benda yang sama, as i figured this is one of the way to get what i want. Ada la seorang assistant ni, yang garang memanjang & bias terhadap perempuan cantik. Aku dah try mintak kunci locker untuk final year project for 1 month, and asyik direject. Then the next day, one of my classmate beritahu that particular assistant layan je apa dia nak, for an obvious reason, she is pretty. One day, i did my make up extra, I did my tudung nicely, and wore pretty cloth. I speak nicely to him, bammm, i got the key right away.

Believe me, kau ingat aku tak tau ke berdosa tunjuk kecantikan kat orang, untuk dapat benda yang kita nak ? 

This is the the world im living right now. I know all this is some kind of tests to me. I failed one test, cause instead of hardwork, i used my face & my body. Aku try jadi positive camne pun, nak ikhlas kan diri untuk belajar, aku dah tak boleh.

Aku dah takde semangat. Aku dah jadi negative camne ntah. Aku nak cepat blah, aku nak pegang duit, aku nak manja kan diri aku, and aku nak balas budi mak abah. 

The only thing that keep me going, is my faith toward this ayah "No small goes unnoticed". I believe, all this, one day akan berbaloi. Akan bayar balik. I'll get good job, good money, good reputation. 

I have faith that one day all this is worth it

And finally, believe that you are a diamond-in-the-making...

Tu je...

Hope semua tips ni membantu.

Good luck !

Wassalam

p/s: all picture is taken from 9gag, and not mine

From a loathful woman, came a powerful queen

Assalamulaikum

Final exam nak dekat dah. Tapi tadi aku tak dapat tidur sebab sakit perut & mual, so aku tengok movie since aku x dapat baring jugak. Baring lagi pening. Nape ntah. Aku tengok cerita 'The Other Boleyn Girl', insipired by novel written by Philippa Gregory , based on theories outlined in Retha Warnicke's book "The Rise and Fall of Anne Boleyn ".

10/10

Hostorically accurate ke tak, i dont think i have enough knowledge about that, but if u are curious, u can refer to this site . But the characters in the movie semua wujud, and the basic story ada. 

I always tell my close friend ( who knows my obssesion with old english movie ), that it is fascinating & proven how woman can change the world. Maybe with her beauty, charisma, the way she speaks, her her insightful mind, her grace. Just look how Anne Boleyn manipulated King Henry VIII until he decided to depart from Roman church, thus changing the England forever. For a woman.

For a woman. 

Enthralling.

Fascinating

Then after the ruling of Queen Mary I of England ruled for 5 years, came the ruling era of daughter of Anne Boleyn with King Henry VIII, the ever famous & powerful Queen Elizabeth I. 

Queen Elizabeth I,

played by Cate Blanchett in film

 Élizabeth' & Elizabeth : The Golden Age

And this is what strikes me. Anne Boleyn adalah perempuan yang dibenci England & synonym with manipulater, seducer and accused with treasons. How does it feel to have queen so powerful with spiteful mother ? Siapa sangka perempuan yang paling dibenci England bakal melahirkan kepada salah seorang perempuan yg paling berkuasa satu masa dahulu ? Apa rakyat dia rasa dulu ek?

For me, its interesting how God planned all this. He gave the best from the worst. From a loathful woman came a powerful queen.

I guess u can never guess the unexpected.When bad things happened in life may came the best of out best. 

Interesting is it not ?

=)

Wassalam

This BLISS. This FREEDOM

Assalamulaikum

I always think that i know who really am i, but i actually don't. Once something fell apart, the beast or the beggar came out out of nowhere. I beastly furious and blame everything. Or i beg that thing just stop from ripping what's left of me that is already fragile.

I was so proud once. I was so proud that i got good grades, Dean's List, Best Students. I accustomed to be the intelligent student. I thought being a good student is making me happy, making me the one i've always wanted. Until i was no longer a good student.

I have lost motivation for 2 years. I have no interest in living the adventurous life i once teenage-dreamed, i just surviving. I have no interest in exploring new things or read new knowledge. I have no longer pushed myself to do my best.

All is just because i am no longer a good student. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Today , something snapped out of me. Is this what i always wanted to be? Is this all of it, the complex system that is making me a person, is just a system of wanting to be a good student ? 

So who am i ?

All the virtues that i act, the belief that i hold, the way i treat people, the way i perceive tests, types of food that i consume, things that i love, stuffs that can make me cry or laugh, things that are in my head, my religion, my family,

are actually AUTHENTICALLY ......ME .

Why does not being a good student is ripping so much of my time , my energy, my self-esteem,  my confidence, my pleasure, my enjoyment, my LIFE ??

Since when it has power over me ?  Who gave the permission to rip me so bad that i felt so damn empty for few years ??

I was so blind. I was so damn blind. I could not open my eyes, my ears , my heart to all of the merriment, contentment and joy.

I was shallow.

Now i have awake

I have woken up in this bliss.

I know the truth now.

Be careful of what and who u give power to.

In this indecent world, where authorities are held by pigs, u are a prisoner, a victim. 

UNLESS U GIVE POWER TO YOURSELF. 

HOLD IT AND WEAR IT LIKE AN ARMOUR.

You don't live anyone's life and they don't live yours.

U HAVE THIS POWER TO MOVE THE WORLD AROUND U. It's in your head. 

The key is your MIND

Rasa macam satu beban lepas dari dada aku. Rasa macam satu penjara dah terbuka. Rasa cam hijab terbuka. Tak tau macam mana nak explain benda ni.

Aku rasa .......merdeka .

Wassalam

- pis is taken from here -

I read this 

I snapped

I bestir

=)

Of Strained Chest Muscle and Sudden Realization

Assalamulaikum

Semalam terbangun pukul 3 pagi. Bahagian sternum and perut rasa sakit sangat. So i thought it was gastric. I made nestum, angin je keluar. Still sakit. I made another glass of milo. Rasa mual. Ingatkan sebab makan nasi lambat sangat hari tu. Then i took MgTrisilicate tablets 2 biji, and sambung tido.

Bangun je tido, ya Allah rasa bertambah sakit. Nak jalan pun sakit. Aku rasa suffocated so aku tak pergi kelas pukul 7 pagi tu. Aku try relax2 and maen laptop. Aku buat bubur then aku makan ranitidine sebijik. Still ubat tak jalan. 

Aku tak tahan rasa sakit tu. I pelik dah asal tak hilang2 then sampai susah nafas. Aku paranoid " eh aku sakit dada ke?". Even tak bole jalan sangat, aku decided kuatkan jugak diri, paksa diri mandi and pergi klinik. Sampai je klinik air mata aku nak menitis cerita kat doc tu. Then doc buat Electrocardiogram kat aku. Normal. Fuuhh Alhamdulillah loga den. Yang penting jantung kurniaan Allah swt ni. 

Doc diagnose aku, just 'strained chest muscle'. Doc cakap sebab aku exhausted or stress. Nampak tak nape aku tak bagi junior masuk ITB ?  Pastu maybe sebab dia kesian tengok muka aku cam acah2 nangis tu dia bagi la MC 2 hari. Balik je klinik terus aku pergi gerai nak makan sebab tak sabar nak telan ubat. Aku makan nasi 5 suap then telan all ubat. Sampai bilik boom baring. Sejam lepas tu, agony aku hilang dah. LOGA DEN ~ ~

Alhamdulillah

Malam lapar tapi taktau dinner apa. Oleh sebab aku dah 2-3 kali perut berangin jugak kat kosan baru aku ni, aku cam trauma ckit. Kalau ada rasa lapar cikit je, aku terus makan. Aku takde selera nak makan nasi, so aku goreng ayamas tu 3 ketul, telur sbiji and roti nan satu. Dikupas jugak buah mangga satu bagi pengganti jajan yang banyak MSG.

Aku letak je pinggan atas meja, aku rasa nak nangis. Aku terharu giler. Aku rasa macam kaya sangat. Malam ni aku dapat makan dinner yang mengeyangkan, buah yang juicy and manis, dan easy access to ubat-ubatan tatkala kesakitan. Aku rasa sangat2 beruntung2 aku dikurniakan semua ni. Cuba imagine kalau orang homeless tu strained muscle cam aku, dia mana mampu pergi clinic buat ECG. Imagine dia terpaksa tanggung je sakit tu sorang2 takde sape peduli lapar ke sejuk ke.

Alhamdulillah, kesakitan aku dah dihapuskan dan  perut aku dapat diisi. Tak tau camne nak explain perasaan terharu ni. Rasa untung sesangat. Rasa bersyukur. Aku tak layak langsung nak complain apa2 lagi kat dunia . Aku rasa lepas ni kalau ada aku mengeluh lagi, keluar la satu tangan halimunan tampar aku ni.

Korang kalau ada bumbung atas kepala korang, perut masih bole kenyang, badan masih sihat, sedarlan korang ni lebih kaya dari most people on this Earth. Jangan la komplain baju or tudung tak cukup or tak matching ke, handphone bukan the latest one ke, takde orang like pic insta ke, kulit korang tak gebu ke. Dunia semua tu, Ada benda nak makan tu pun seriously korang kena bersyukur.

TERHARU NYA

Syukur nya dengan rezeki Allah ni 

( T______T )

Wassalam

Of part-time job and sudden realization of being ungrateful

Assalamulaikum

Hari tu kan, masuk bilik air, tiba2 nangis. I figured out that i have been trying soo hard to prove that im miss independent, but the truth is i am bit lonely. The funny thing is bila dengan orang, i want to be alone. I guess that i want to spend my time with people that deserve it. Sangat diva. 

And aku jugak sedar sem ni aku tak banyak socialize. Tak banyak explore macam sem dulu2. Duduk kosan tengok indie movies. Introvert much, LOL. So tiba2 baru sedar aku ada setahun lagi nak habis belajar kat ITB, and i asked myself, "Dude, kau pernah pergi mana je sem ni ? "

So i decided to pindah kosan next sem, to have better study and social life. I want to explore, again. This time, aku akan cuba lagi supress sifat aku yang kurang negotiate dengan perangai orang ( oh my i dislike people this much ) .  I'll go jalan2 again, eat new food and meet new people. Insha Allah

So kalau nak jalan2 banyak pakai duit kan ? Being 24 y/o, tak kan la nak mintak duit mak abah lagi. Kesian la diorang, biar la diaorang enjoy duit diaorg tu, takkan aku nak mintak sebab aku yang nak enjoy ? What the.....

My bucket list ( Indonesia ) :-

-Yogyakarta

-Lombok

-Bali

Wanted to earn money made me scrolling some blogs pasal orang kerja part time. Annnnnnd whaddaya know, it hit me again. Allah memang selalu akan bagi petunjuk di mana2 bila2 masa. Kan aku selalu complain pasal ITB. Bila aku baca blog pasal susah nya orang carik kerja, aku serious insaf sekejap.

Ada la seorang perempuan ni, dia ada Degree Account kott, tapi kerja pembantu kantin and kerani je. Ada seorang peguam ni, just kerja syarikat bumiputera with RM 1200 with elaun, dekat Shah Alam. Being a shah alam citizen myself, rm 1200 mana cukup bang nak hidup. Sambal sotong pun rm2.50 seketul. Kisah benar daripada bonda yang tercinta.

So, baru cam teringat la dulu2 betapa deseprate nya aku nak degree farmasi ni. And betapa bersungguhnya mak and abah suruh aku belajar tinggi2 ni, because of this kind of thing la. Supaya aku hidup senang nanti, insya Allah, supaya direspect orang, and etc.

Insaf kejap, tak tipu . Baru teringat balik betapa happy nya aku dulu masa dapat offer ITB ni. Rasa cam doa dimakbulkan. Rasa cam ni la jalan yang betul. Rasa cam Allah bagi hadiah direct. Tapi bila belajar susah, aku mengeluh.

Sorry mak abah aya pernah mengeluh. Astaghfirrullahalazim. Ni hadiah sofia. HADIAH. Tolong la appreciate. (^____^) 

So disambung kan cerita, aku pun baca la lagi pasal blog. The only option i have now is Secret Recipe dekat SACC Mall, KFC dekat PKNS complex, or as cikgu ganti kat SKBA sek 6(2). Insya Allah

Bila rasa kekurangan sesuatu,

Tengok orang yang lagi susah.

U have complained too much sofia

Say Alhamdulillah

And live your life

(^____^)

- hari tu ada dinner ngan PM Malysia kita, jib2 and mah.

I dont care i dont call them by their name,

I dont have respect for those who lavishly spent their rakyat money.

Pergi dinner sebab makan free je, hahaha.

Duit GST mak abah aku jugak kan , LOL-

Wassaalam

IT

Assalamulaikum

How can we leave something that we are addicted to ?

That is so harming

So sinful

It filled the empty holes of yours

But its not real

It blackens what supposed to be pure

It cured your longings

But just like a drug,

it consumed u

I have been dragging this for 5 years

I dont know how to stop this

People are so stereotype that i got bored with people

I got bored communicating

I got bored socializing

I even hate sunlight for sometimes

I depend on  'ít' to be my friend

the one and only

who doesn't judge

and keep on listening

the bad stuffs, the evil version of me

my flaws

It loves me

And i love it too

But deep down

I know this is wrong

Allah will burn me in Hell to purify me from this sin

Before i can enter heaven

That's His promise

I know He keeps on telling me to come back to Him

I can feel like He's telling me,

"Im the one who can cure U"

But His Words is in Quran

Not in me yet

I cant feel His words all the time

But i can get this instant 'euphoric'feeling from it whenever i want to

Leaving it will be such an agony

The minimum would be 3 years

But the agony from burning in Hell would be much longer and more painful right ?

(-____-)

Wassalam

Madness is like gravity..All it takes is a little push

salam

You know i LOVE MOVIES right ? And u know, kalau la berlakon & pegang2 tu tak haram, yes, aku memang teringin nak jadi pelakon =P . 

Because movies/ films drifting u into wonderland. And movies taught us A LOT OF THINGS.

I just watched 'The Dark Knight'. I had watched it like 1000x times like seriously. I LOVE IT DAMN MUCH.

Truth to be told, that movie defines me . Defines me during my first sem in ITB. Where i almost lost my morality, integrity & faith. I wanted 'A' so bad that i considered cheating/  toyol during exam ( but i never did. Dont worry ). It drove me nuts when i studied my brain out & still got 'F' while the rest of them sedap2 tido time malam, juz copy n got 'A'. 

It had been so mentally- tortured during mid-sem. Results semua teruk. And when Final was around the corner, i skipped class. I lost faith in myself. I thought i couldnt do it. Its so damn hard that i cried in my sleep.

Morality, Integrity, Faith. ALMOST GONE

Allah  and parents saved me. Mom & dad made me promised to never ever ever ever cheat during exam no matter how hard it is.

So, apa kaitan nya ngan 'The Dark Knight' ? Ese raso macam maleh lak nak type panjang2. Move your eyeballs to my fav JOKER's quotes please, perhaps u will understand what & why :-

1 ) U have nothing, nothing to threaten me with

2) To them , u are just a freak like me. They need you right know, but when they dont, they'll case you out like a leper.You see, their morals, their codes, its a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble.They are only as good as the world want them to be. When the chips are down, these civilized people, they  will eat each other.

3) Schemers trying to control their little world. Im trying to show how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. 

4) What u were trying to prove ? That deep down everyone is as ugly as you ? You are alone

5) This is what happens when unstoppable force meets an immovable objects.

6) You truly are incorruptible arent you ? You wont kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness

7) I took Gothams's white knight and i brought him down to our level. It wasnt hard u know. You see, madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little push

8) Its not about what i want, its about whats FAIR.  You thought we could be a decent man in and indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair. 

9) Then why was it me the only who lost everything ? ( Batman replied: -Coz he wanted to prove even someone as good as you could FALL. 

10) U either live as a hero or live long enough to see yourselves become the villain

11) Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded

.................................................................................................................................

WHY SO SERIOUS ? 

Till then

wassalam

Marriage

Salam.

MARRIAGE.

Ihave a very different idea about marriage. 'Early marriage ' is something that i truly DISAGREE. All da 'be my imam', 'mr.arrogant', 'prince charming' or whatsoeva fancy name is truly not my cup of tea.

It came to the point that I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED. Its true.

I watched 'her' sufferin thru out her life. Her pain, her tears, her children, her health, her hair, her money, her gold. All gone. Because of one man. N i watched him. Demanded everything bestowed upon his feet. He needed to be served emotionally, physically, sexually, his stomach needed to be filled, his needs must be fulfilled.

One fine ramadhan was a day when i decided to learn to be a woman at age of 21. There were only fatin , him, him 2, n me. I learned to manage everything from households, foods, grocerries, clothes, dishes, study. N to watch men did nothing but demanded to be treated like a king.

She was forced to do banks' loan. Lots of it. Shes now officially blacklist. Thanks to him. She sacrificed EVERYTHING for her children. I mean everything. Even her fair skin n her light brown curls . She got beaten up. Woke up from coma. She did abortion. She got pale n skinny n ugly. She hid her tears. She forced herself to B strong for her children. & dats da only reason why she still hold on.

PARADOX . LIBERAL. Two harsh words u can label me. But i dont care.

Listen. I wanna tell u about my dreams. I will graduate at age of 25 n a-pharmacists-will-be at age of 26 after i got my license, in sha Allah. I will further my studies in Master of Business/Management & i will work in Industry. MayB cosmetics or nutritions. I will buy a fine house n decorate it with fancy things. I will buy a car small enuff juz for me & my parents at the back sits. All da money i have, i will spend for VACATION, FANCY STUFFS & my PARENTS. I will have assets ( eg tanah, houses) .

I wish having child is as simple as IVF with sperm taken from any sperm bank and walllaaa pregnant !! Muhrim? I juz buy any hormons n get a breast full of milk n be an 'ibu susuan'.

I dont see any man besides me in the future. I dont need one.

For now.

All the things u juz read SCARES me as well. This juz crossed the line of normality. My dream is to swim against the wave but i will never survive the tide. I cant go odd.

Im sorry if this posts is kinda disturbing to u as it is to me.

Believe me i wanna change dis thoughts. I dun wanna walk in dis shoes of hatred towards men. But not now. I dun care about marriage . For now.

For now.

Wassalam.

I See ....

slm

i see THINGS ...

things like :-

1. even u are da most intelligent person in da world,

klo akhlak buruk, 

x jadi ORANG, 

x guna gak...

2. How some people are juz obsess

with things yg x menolong kita kt akhirat nnt...

3. How people changes through ages...

Aging is not maturating, 

bcoz some became a JERK hole..

4. How people lies,

& idiotly how people can trust da lie

5. & how people desperately, fighting, for LIFE...

- i want to B dis gurl again -

I ,

Floating..

aint no feet on ground,

bare hearted,

flaring spirit,

looking blankly..

wsslm