on 22 April 2014

Now i know how does it feels like to sacrifice urself to beloved one. I realized i chose the wrong path. I never wanted this at the first place. This never cross my mind. I was soooo stupid . Why sofia u keep on repeating this ? I tried. But seriously i dont know how to keep on live like this, but i have to.

My life is dull. My life is boring. Each day my inside is dying coz  im forcing myself to do something that i loathe so much. I've  always been selfish through out my life. It was almost like everyone has to listen to me. And i cant be selfish anymore. Stop this sofia. 

I juz hope someday i will love this soo passionately, so dreamy yet so strong  that i will do everything juz for it. Like i used to 3 years ago. But that is the part of me thats dying. My will, passion, eagerness.

Aya sofia 3 years ago, is not the same person anymore. I miss her. She is strong and a pusher. She pushed herself soo much but she loved it everyday. No matter the panda eyes, the unhealthy food she consumed juz to keep awake, her past,  the swamp-people and the skeptical. She ignored everything coz she loved it too much. And shes leaving me. She loathe it so she is leaving this. Shes dying but i dont want her to go. She was good enough for me. 

This is the new me. I dont push myself anymore. Im pessimist. Im realist. Im the ignorant that i used to hate. 
But i have to. This heart need to be armored with reality. Life is not a rainbow like it used to be. 

I juz have to bear this. Ok sofia ? Bertahan je. For her, for them, for ur future.

This is my sacrifice. My battle, my fight. 


She is my new darling. She is the one i've been looking for.
I never love a friend this much =) 
Words from her is strong, encouraging and lovable
Yet so nakal and knows the perfect time for action

p/s : adeline nampak mcm paparazi =P


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